


Mabel the Matchmaking Goofball Cinammon Roll Twin

by Doodlepie16



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Tags will be updated along with story, Texting, squeals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-03-26 05:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19000051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doodlepie16/pseuds/Doodlepie16
Summary: As everyone who knows Mabel knows, once a lovertunity presents itself to her, it is a 100% guaranteed that she will stop at nothing to make sure it happens. In other words, you need to either pack your bags and get a plane ticket to the other side of the world, or strap her to a chair, whammy her with a memory gun and bonk her in the head before she wakes up, leave her on the porch of the Mystery Shack, and burn all evidence in a ditch somewhere on Butt Island. Otherwise, better say ‘ta-ta, ciao, goodbye and sayonara’ to your sanity before the she-cupid/demon finds you and forces you to follow her plans no matter how much you beg and pray for mercy.But first, a squeal.





	1. After-aftermaths

The Adventures of Mabel the Matchmaking, Goofball, Cinnamon Roll Twin

 

Six hours after the events of "Face It", Pacifica had somehow gotten Dipper's number, and decided to have a chat with him about their little moment, but with luck like hers, she received a reply, that was, unfortunately, not from Dipper.

==

(Hey, Dipper… so about that hug. Don’t  
get the wrong idea or anything.)

(There was monster drool on my sleeve  
and I was just wiping it off on you.)

(As if I’d actually hug you on  
purpose.)

==

(Pacifica? This is Mabel. Dipper  
doesn’t have a cell phone.  
What hug?)

==

(What?! Uh, nothing!  
This was a prank text!)

==

(OMG DO YOU LIKE DIPPER??!?!!??)

==

(DELETE THIS NUMBER!)

==

(WHEN’S THE WEDDING LOLLLLLL)

==

(I’M SENDING MY  
BUTLER TO BREAK  
YOUR LEGS)

==

(💋💋💋💋💋💋💋)

==

(AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGHHH)

 

As everyone who knows Mabel knows, once a lovertunity presents itself to her, it is a 100% guaranteed that she will stop at nothing to make sure it happens. In other words, you need to either pack your bags and get a plane ticket to the other side of the world, or strap her to a chair, whammy her with a memory gun and bonk her in the head before she wakes up, leave her on the porch of the Mystery Shack, and burn all evidence in a ditch somewhere on Butt Island. Otherwise, better say ‘ta-ta, ciao, goodbye and sayonara’ to your sanity before the she-cupid/demon finds you and forces you to follow her plans no matter how much you beg and pray for mercy. 

But first, a squeal.

==

Dipper was in the kitchen of the Mystery Shack with his Grunkle Stan, reading the latest issue of ‘BETTER FAMILIES THAN YOURS’. Stan was just reading his papers, coffee mug in hand, grunting at whatever he was reading, partly ignoring his brother as he emerged into the kitchen to refill his coffee mug to keep himself awake and focused on whatever he was doing down in the basement. Dipper gave a small chuckle and smile at what he saw on the cover. ‘Pacifica goes Pacifi-CRAZY!!’ it said. Hah, if anything was crazy, it would be how the publishers got this on the market only six hours after the shoot.

“What’s so funny, Dipper?” his Grunkle Ford, who was about to exit the room, asked.

“Yeah,” Ford and Dipper turned to Stan, who had taken his eyes off his papers, raising a brow at the magazine in Dipper’s hands. 

“What’s so laughable about some stuck-up rich people’s magazine where all they do is bout and babble stuff like ‘we’re so perfect’ and ‘we’re the best’ all the time just to annoy everybody else?”

Dipper just rolled his eyes and handed his Grunkles the magazine, watching their reactions. Both sputtered, Ford shooting up his brows and then choking on his coffee, having laughed in amusement mid-sip, and Stan plain spraying his caffeine all over his great nephew’s face, eyes widening at the picture of Pacifica, who was making a face at the camera, still wearing the same filth and grime covered outfit from six hours ago, when she and Dipper had faced “Mr. What’s-His-Face”. 

Said person also began wiping his coffee drenched face with a cloth, shuddering at the fact that he now had drool-induced Stan cooties all over his face. He turned back to his Grunkles, one of which had recovered from his not-so-brilliant moment, and the other frozen with the same expression still plastered on his face. He suddenly had the urge to turn around and grab the camera in Grunkle Ford’s coat pocket so he could take a picture of the look on Stan’s stupid face, either to blackmail him or give to Mabel for her scrapbook, he didn’t know. Well, either way, it was for revenge.

Not because his sister had definitely rubbed off on him.

Ha-ha, nope.

Ha… Ha… 

Let’s just get this over with.

In rapid succession, Dipper reached over and grabbed Ford’s camera while his back was turned to the door, sprinted over, snapped a photo and Stan out of his daze, grabbed the film that the camera produced, the magazine, and the tumbler of Mabel Juice his sister had left the day before (he may or may not have poured some into his Grunkle Stan’s coffee), ran out the room, successfully slipping Ford’s camera back into the man’s pocket as he passed, and up the stairs yelling “This is revenge for giving me Stan cooties!” before they could process what had just happened. And when they did, all Stan could say was:

“What… just happened?”

Ford didn’t answer, and instead stared at the camera in his pocket, and then what looked to be a plastic dinosaur bobbing away in his twin’s coffee mug. 

“U-huh… “was all he muttered.

“Whaddya mean ‘u-huh’?”

Again, nothing was said. Not bothering to linger by the kitchen door any more than he already has, Ford walked away… 

“Ugh… Whatever… “said Stanley, about to drink from his mug.

…but not before snapping a photo of what happened next.

“Bleargh!” 

Clik!

“Hrk! Hrk! What the--?! Ford—” but his brother had already given the film to Dipper, who had run back down, and shook his hand.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Great Uncle Ford.”

“Oh please, the pleasure is mine.”

“Actually,” Stan got up from where he sat, and wagged a finger at the two, “It’s gonna be mine once I get my hands on you two!”

But as he took a step towards them—

“Ow!”—his foot landed on the plastic dinosaur he coughed up.

Using this as a momentary distraction, Ford quickly typed in the code and entered the vending machine, while Dipper ran to the attic, laughing. Once Stan had recovered though, he knew he’d be the first target since by now, Ford would’ve already made it so that no one could enter the basement. 

He dashed towards the door to the attic, nearly skidding past. Panting, he opened the door.

“Hey, Mabel! You won’t believe what just hap—”

Silence.

Everything suddenly silenced around Dipper. The sound of Stan cursing faded into thin air. All he could hear was his heart thumping loudly in his chest, his breaths stopping short, his skin paling, as fear rose in his chest as he stared at Mabel. She had such a big smile on her face, wheezing excitedly on the air between her braces, a crazed, dopey expression plastered on her face at whatever she was staring at her phone. 

But Dipper knew that look. He knew exactly what she was seeing.

A lovertunity.

He sucked in a breath as Mabel turned to look at him, her expression turning even more crazed, if that was even possible. And Dipper realized she hadn’t been looking at just any lovertunity…

It was a lovertunity—for him.

He panicked as he saw her suck in a deep, deep breath.

==

When Grunkle Stan saw the expression on his great expression on his great nephew’s face, he immediately flinched and paled. He should’ve known it’d come again someday. He quickly ran over to the counter, picked up the microphone, and yelled so loudly that it chased all his customers away.

“WE HAVE A CODE ABEL-MAY PEOPLE!! I REPEAT! WE HAVE A CODE ABEL-MAY!! SHE’S GONNA BLOW! GET YOUR EARMUFFS NOW!”

==

“What the?”

What exactly was Ford looking at right now? His brother looked like he was screaming profanities at his own customers. How strange… He was also handing out some earmuffs out to his employees. What were their names again? Mindy and Deuce? Nevermind. He turned on the audio to hear what his brother was saying.

Oh, what a big mistake that was.

“—ODE ABEL-MAY!! I REPEAT—”

Abel-may? Mabel?

He turned his head to the feed that was in the attic where Mabel was. She looked to be hyperventilating, while her brother was outside, a panicked look on his face as he dropped everything in his hands, plugging his ears as he spun on his heels and ran like his life depended on it.

The basement was made to be sound-proof in and out, which was why Ford had installed surveillance and audio in every room of the shack. He should have known better than to immediately listen in on what was going on because—

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

The shrill sound of Mabel squealing rang all throughout the shack, and Ford being the only one without ear protection had his hearing replaced by silence.

“AAUUUGGGHHHH!”

Heck, he couldn’t even hear his own suffering as his eyes rolled up into his head and fell to the floor with a non-resounding THUMP!


	2. Dipcifica-1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: Dipcifica-1 (Part One of the Dipcifica Arc)  
> Ratings: G  
> Warnings: None  
> Timeline: Almost a couple of weeks after "The Stanchurian Candidate"/Immediately after Prologue/Pre-(The Last Mabelcorn)  
> Summary: While Dipper tries to escape his over-the-top, crazy mad, psycho of a sister, Pacifica gives herself a run-down of her own feelings. Mabel, on the other hand, pretty much just sits back and chills, all the while watching her ship beginning to raise the anchor weighing it down, making magic.

Chapter 1: Dipcifica—1

\--

Dipper panted as he ran through the forest, dodging branches that hung low on trees, gnomes flung towards him out of nowhere, as well as the occasional bird poop falling from above the trees, hopping over roots that stuck out on the ground, tiny brooks and gnome vomit, for some reason, and tore through the brambles and thorn bushes which tore through his skin and clothes as he passed. He didn’t care, though. All he could think of was escaping, getting as far away as he could from the shack, before his sister finds him. He didn’t know who his sister wanted to pair him up with, and he didn’t want to.

Through the aged trees, he could see a clearing through a cave, mostly hidden behind a bunch of moss and hanging ivy. He wouldn’t have seen it if not for the fact that he was desperate, plus, there were a few rays of light streaming out, so yeah, there was that. His legs burned as he continued to expend his energy to get to the clearing. He had been running for about half an hour, after all. But as he got closer, he suddenly heard Mabel calling out his name from almost right behind him.

“Bro-bro! C’mon! You can’t stop Mabel the Matchmaker no matter how much you run!!”

What?! How?! How did she find him so fast??!!

“You realize it just rained right? You kinda left a trail of footsteps everywhere plus some angry gnomes kinda sold you out for some reason!”

Oh. Ugh. This is what he gets for trudging through gnome territory. A new wave of adrenaline suddenly washed over him and powered up his legs, giving him enough energy to get through the ivy and into the clearing before his sister could reach him. 

“Ha… ha… lost her… “

“Oh, DIP-DOP!”

What?! Again, HOW?! 

“Ugh, wait—right. The Mabel Juice.”—man, who knows how much she drank!! 

He suddenly wondered if she had drunk any caffeine before she left.

“HEY DIPDIPDIPDIPDIPDIPDIPDIPDIPDIPDIPDIP—” –yup, she did.

Quickly, Dipper scanned the clearing for anything he could use to block the entrance. But a loud rumbling shook the earth and diverted his attention towards it. A boulder was crashing down the path ahead of him, about to smush him, crush him, flatten him like a pa—wait, is that Pacifica on top of it? He wasn’t sure, really, what with what looked to be makeup smeared all over her face, brambles, sticks, and mud stuck in her hair. Then again, she did seem to be wearing some kind of regal cerulean and black laced ballgown, which was pretty dirtied up at the moment.

“A-A-A-A-O-O-OUUU—T-T—T-T-T-T-O-OF- THE-E-E -WA-A-A-A-Y—Y-Y-Y” –she yelled, then, jumping off, she tackled Dipper, pushing them both out of the boulder’s way as it crashed into the entrance, effectively blocking anyone from going through.

And also, effectively putting them in such a compromising position that neither could stop the warmth from rising and spreading all over their faces. Without looking the other in the eye, both tried to move away, unfortunately putting them in even more compromising positions. All of which Mabel, who was able to sneak in before the boulder blocked the entrance, captured on a video camera she borrowed from Soos. 

\--

Typing furiously on her phone, Pacifica panicked; Mabel wasn’t responding. No matter how many times she tried to reach her, she didn’t respond. She bit her lip, cold sweat dripping from her forehead and fizzing into vapor when they reached her red and burning cheeks.

What was Mabel doing? Why won’t she answer her texts? Her phone wasn’t with Dipper was it?

She stopped her frantic texting once she asked herself that.

This was bad. This was really, really bad. What is she going to do now? No way she was telling her parents about this, and it’s not like they even deserved to after everything they pulled on her for twelve long years. Her butler? Maybe. Maybe. Maybel. Mabel. Mabel. UGH MABEL WHY???  
She couldn’t get it out of her head. If Dipper found out, she’d be ruined. Ruined! Just thinking about him made her heart flutter—no! She cannot be thinking like this! She’s a Northwest! And Northwests don’t associate with commoners! But she already had, multiple times, in fact. But still! She had dignity for her stupid status. Wait, not stupid—yes, stupid! It’s what’s preventing her from hanging out with Dip—commoners! The commoners in this stupid town that she loves and hates all the same. Yeah, that’s—

_“You’re just as bad as your parents. Another link in the world’s worst chain!” ___

__She was a Northwest. A natural liar--_ _

_“—just because you’re your parents’ daughter, doesn’t mean you have to be like them… “ ___

____\--and even then, he stuck up for her when she was bringing herself down, up, and down again—_ _ _ _

_“—Forget about your dumb family. Ever since you saved me at Northwest Manor, I’ve noticed another side of you. I think I see the real Pacifica… and she’s more than just a pretty face…” ___

______\--twice._ _ _ _ _ _

______As a Northwest, she’s lied her whole life; and it’s a habit that’s saved her and at the same time nearly killed her more times than she can count. And every time she did, she never just lied to another person, but to herself as well. So maybe it was time to try finding the truth. And she could start by telling herself something true._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I… “, she began, “hate bells.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“And I… hate operas. I like pizza better than I like sushi. My favorite commoner—no, normal food are burritos. I like gowns, but I hate corsets unless they’re made of leather. I like the rain and I want to dance in it when no one’s looking. I wish I could try planting flowers. My favorite color is… blue? No, cerulean. Purple’s actually my second favorite. Like Dipper’s hat. Heh, Dipper… “_ _ _ _ _ _

______Now, she was on the subject of Dipper; and it’s not like anyone could hear her anyways. So…_ _ _ _ _ _

______“…I think that it’s adorable that Dipper sometimes tries to act like a man, when it’s obviously not working. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think my arm brushed against his head when we fell while running during the haunting, and it’s actually softer than it looks, like a baby’s head. Ha, I probably shouldn’t tell him that. He’s like a psychiatrist, honestly; someone I can confide in when I get bothered by something. Like we’re having girl talks and stuff, except he’s a boy, who honestly tends to be girly at times so that doesn’t count. He’s like the pillow I can cry into, the bear that hugs me when I feel cold, and the one who listens, and never speaks up unless he’s got something to say. He’s free. Like how I want to be. He’s… everything a Northwest isn’t, and that’s what I like about him. Why I feel so comfortable around him. He won’t judge, like everyone else. He won’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t be, but what I can be. And I can be whoever I want to be. Like his girlfr—” she hacked a cough._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That’s far enough, Pacifica.” She told herself, “Just get to the point.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“And that point is: I like Dipper. But friends we are, and friends I’d prefer to keep it. So what if I like him? It won’t matter whether I do or don’t; because in the end, we have a bond, that no matter how strong or weak, no matter how tight or loose, will always be there. And it’s better to keep it that way.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Smiling to herself, Pacifica felt lighter than a feather. Her worries diminished, and she was satisfied._ _ _ _ _ _

______But it was then that Mabel’s name came back to her, making her realize something even worse than before. Mabel was a matchmaker. She wouldn’t just tell someone out of the blue that the person she shipped that person with had tried to text him but got hers by mistake, especially if that person was her brother. No, she would go all out and plan it out. Get them together whether or not they knew she was the one who was doing it. But if there was anything she knew about supportive and romance novel loving siblings whose sibling had a lover she just found out about, there was always one thing they’d do first if they approved the ship—Squeal._ _ _ _ _ _

______\--_ _ _ _ _ _

______If Pacifica knew any better from her times with the Pines (which she did), she would know that by now, Dipper would already be running away from the shack, Mabel would be running on multiple shots of Mabel Juice and caffeine, and following Dipper’s trail of prints in the mud considering the fact it just rained and the boy would’ve probably forgotten, by now. That meant she had to act fast._ _ _ _ _ _

______Picking up her phone from where it laid on the purple carpeted floor, Pacifica pulled up her Waze app and put a mark on the location of the Mystery Shack, then searched for the fastest route to it. When she did, she immediately pocketed her phone in a pocket hidden by the folds of her dress, and then walked towards her balcony, which was conveniently facing the back of the mansion, and where she needed to go. A fountain was situated at the very end, almost up against the wall, tall shrubs which got taller and taller as they lined the path from the fountain to the double doors below the balcony. And it was from there that she hopped off the banisters, and onto the first shrub, which she slid off as she bent towards the next, and the next after that, and so on, until she made it to the last shrub. She slid off and onto the grass behind the hedges which lined and curved around the fountain, using them for cover from security as she crawled. When she finally reached the wall, she weaseled through the hedge and crawled to the back of the fountain, where she pressed her hand against a loose block of marble, that revealed a slide which would bring her to the edge of the mountain and bring her to the woods, where Dipper would have most likely escaped to._ _ _ _ _ _

______Unfortunately, it was then that she realized that she was still wearing her gown. Can’t believe she forgot to change._ _ _ _ _ _

______Well, she’s made it this far. Can’t turn back now._ _ _ _ _ _

______And so, she made her way down the slide, thinking; “It’s not like it’s gonna give me trouble, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______\--_ _ _ _ _ _

______Oh, how wrong she had been._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was only after she fell down the end of the slide that she realized how hard it would be wearing a gown in a place like the woods. As it turned out, the end of the slide revealed to be the edge of a cliff, which led her to fall through tree branches, screaming colorful words she was glad no one could hear, causing sticks and leaves to get stuck in her already tangled hair. And thanks to the branches, her fall wasn’t all that bad, unless you counted the part where she landed face first into mud, as she just happened to fall at the edge of a slightly forested section of the mountain._ _ _ _ _ _

______When she tried to get up from the mud, though, her hand slipped on the edge, causing her to lose her balance and fall off a cliff again. From there, she fell once more, screaming a lot more profanities than she should, and got a portion of her dress snagged on another branch that was in her way as she fell through. It was thanks to Mother Nature again that she survived another fall, body dangling two or three feet away from solid rock. So, tugging on her dress, she was able to pull free of the branch, landing on her tush._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was only too bad that her luck still had yet to abandon her._ _ _ _ _ _

______A deep rumble came from below her as she tried to stand up, only to stumble back down. It was then that she realized. She wasn’t standing on any rock-solid surface; she was standing on a boulder, standing on an unstable cliff, which had just given out with a crumble. And so more profanities were shrieked as Pacifica and the boulder fell, rolling towards wherever they were headed and—well, you already know what happens next…_ _ _ _ _ _

______\--_ _ _ _ _ _

______Laughing quietly in the shadows cast by the afternoon sun, Mabel relished in the awkwardness that filled the air around her ship, which had yet to set sail._ _ _ _ _ _

______Her plan was already put to action, the traps she had previously prepared--for when the time came that she found the perfect girl for her brother--all set off, and every moment currently being captured on cameras set around the forest to later be made into a movie, purely for her own amusement and her brother’s mortification._ _ _ _ _ _

______For unlike her family, she was smart enough to have the idea to use masking tape on the red light the cameras blinked when recording._ _ _ _ _ _

______Then there was a soft tapping on her shoulder, so she turned around to find Jeff and a small army of gnomes (plus Schmebulock, can’t forget about Schmebulock) right behind her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“So…” Jeff began, “We did what you asked. Where’s our payment?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Mabel rolled her eyes and picked up Jeff, placing a small, but brief kiss on his tiny forehead, and did the same with the other gnomes._ _ _ _ _ _

______But as they left, she saw little Shmebulock trip on his way, and decided to pick him up again to give him a more heartfelt and slightly longer kiss on his forehead._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Cause you’re my favorite, you poor little thing,” –then she set him down, watching him smile at her before leaving._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Schmebulock…” he told her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Schmebulock” she replied._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update for my dear readers,
> 
> I apologize for the long wait for the next chapter. School had just started about a couple of days ago, and I have been a bit occupied with studying. I'm afraid this is due to a bet between one of my best friends and her cousins. Apparently, if she were to get the highest grading within our whole level, her cousins would get her anything she wanted. If the tables though, were to turn on her and she failed to meet her side of the bet, her cousins would make her get everything they wanted her to buy.
> 
> So, yes, she's rich, and it was a stupid bet--but that's not gonna stop me from helping her win. And besides, I've always wanted to try study-buddying! So wish us (and a new friend we made yesterday) luck!
> 
> This is Doodlepie_16, signing off for now!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, dear Readers!
> 
> Just wanted to let you all know that this is not my first fanfiction. I also have two Voltron: Legendary Defenders fanfics! 
> 
> "There Are No Such Things as Coincidences"--Plance fanfic (Ongoing/2 chapters)
> 
> "Hogwarts: A Voltron Story"--Hogwarts AU (Ongoing/1 chapter)
> 
> For those who know this show, kudos to you, and have fun reading if you're interested! Please remember to leave kudos on this story and same with my other two stories, Thanks!
> 
> This is DoodlePie_16, signing off for now! See you all next time!


End file.
